Her Faith Thrives

Guest Post By Mysty Pfeffer

“In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not addicted to much wine. They are to teach what is good, so they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure homemakers, kind and submissive to their husbands, so that God’s message will not be slandered. “

Titus 2:3-5 HCSB

There is no greater call for women than to teach what is good and encouraging to younger women in the community of family. Loving well, being self-controlled, pure, kind, and even submissive is a call to all women from God’s Word. Before this gets discarded as nonsense, please hear me out. I come to you as a previously defiant, self-centered younger woman leaving a strict, authoritarian home. Rules and regulations are good for discipline that children need growing up. However, without an equal amount of love and acceptance, it creates a hard heart. Paul reminds the women of Titus’s congregation twice, to love.

Although romantic love is easy at first, living long-term, self-sacrificing love day to day, is not. Moreover, the principles outlined in these verses were difficult concepts for the younger version of me, to ascribe to. However, when I was shown these principles through my husband, David’s family, early in our marriage, it set in motion a desire for change. I saw a solid family community that I wanted for my own new family. While pondering the significance of this verse’s encouragement, I remember with fondness the way my mother-in-law and both my husband’s grandmothers lived these attributes daily.

In fact, I longed for stability and unconditional love so much, I embraced the submissiveness I witnessed regularly. My husband’s mother Carol, maternal grandmother, Pooch, paternal grandmother Rose were soothing balms to my troubled soul. These ladies had a way of pampering their men that I’d never seen before. Laughter and acceptance were commonplace. So much so, the hard edge of self-protective apathy around my heart began to soften with the tender spoiling of these seasoned homemakers.

Self-Controlled

I remember my heart racing and my mouth being dry as I met David’s parents for the first time. I’d spoken to his mother Carol on the phone before, so her bubbly, friendly tone reassured me. I had begun swallowing my apprehension as we entered the door to his house. However, my attention at the time was immediately overtaken by his little Boston Terrier. He was lying on the kitchen floor gasping for air and struggling to breathe as his life ebbed away. Dumbfounded, I was overwhelmed by the poor creature’s disposition, I could barely take my eyes off him long enough to acknowledge David’s mother.

What a first meeting.

She was distressed and feeling helpless to provide relief for her beloved dog, while meeting me for the first time. Yet, she maintained a friendly, welcoming demeanor. She pointed out, with light teasing, my husband’s favorite room to sequester during our phone conversations. I took my eyes off the family pet long enough to view the adjoining laundry room. I pictured for a moment, David sitting on the washer during our chats. Smiling, I mumbled some unremembered response. However, I was comforted with her ability to ease the tension, despite her grief. She chided teasingly about our soft voices and wondered how we could hear one another on the phone. Relaying to us how this reminds her of her own mother-in-law’s soft voice.

Kind and Submissive to their Husbands

Miss Rose is a quiet, shy lady whose hospitality and simple manner were shining examples of pureness and submissiveness. Indeed, the subsequent years of interactions with her cemented in my mind a demeanor of godly modesty and solid character. I’ll never forget one Sunday afternoon visiting her and her husband Charles Sr. for dinner.  

Charles Sr.’s illness of Pulmonary Fibrosis limited his mobility, so he remained in his chair on oxygen during our visit. While Rose busied herself frying chicken, mashing potatoes, and cooking green beans, gravy, and biscuits for us to feast on. He received his plated meal from his wife and was displeased with the cut of meat. She looked dutifully through the pieces of chicken for a back and not finding it, headed to the deep freezer. She thawed out the preferred piece of chicken, fried it and placed it before him, as the rest of us ate our dinner.

However, he was asleep and could not eat the proffered meal. Hiding my surprise and bristling at this callousness, I quietly ate my meal. I felt indignant for her. She, on the other hand, just laughed it off and picked at the food herself. I was too immature to realize the depth of his illness and his inability to acknowledge his wife’s efforts.

I must tell you, I had not witnessed such kind devotion to a spouse in my own family community. Love, teasing, and self-sufficiency, yes; but not self-sacrificing grace for a husband like Rose displayed to her husband, that day. Every visit and action of hers I witnessed thereafter, reinforced to me how enduring love sets a firm foundation for younger women.

Reverent in Behavior, not Slanderers

Miss Pooch was a woman who would not sit down at the table until her husband and guests were served. More importantly, as dinner table conversations began to stray to neighbors and lifelong friends with their latest actions and behaviors, Pooch gently reminded everyone of the person’s good. Yes! She was always looking for and reminding others of the good in people. Steadfast, consistent expressions of acceptance and love, despite faults, were exemplified in the character of all three women of faith.

Although I did not know it at the time, I am sure now, the motion of sweet change working its way through these women in my young life was the Holy Spirit. Their support and reverence were key to my understanding the value of loving my husband, others, and Christ. I saw a stable family community built on loyalty and love that I had never experienced before. However, I longed for such a life for my own children. I am thankful and forever grateful to God, for wooing me in such a way!  

Reflective questions:

• Growth: In a culture encouraging self-absorption, it is often difficult to sacrifice our own needs for the sake of others. What areas of your community do you see a need for more sacrifice and less self-absorption? How do these three women display a commitment to seek something better?
• Connection: Who is an older married woman you admire? How does she encourage you? Would you feel comfortable reaching out to her and letting her know you’d like advice?
• Gratitude: Thanking God for Christ Jesus’ reverence, his example of humility, and His Word is a great place to start building our own gratitude.

For Further Encouragement

Were you encouraged by this blog post? I would love to connect with you on our special Her Faith Thrives Newsletter which goes out every other month. In each newsletter, I share a short reflection about how I’m growing in my faith during this season of life. Plus, I’ll be sending you some fantastic resources to inspire and guide you on your own faith journey. When you subscribe, you will receive my all-time favorite tool for making your Daily Quiet Time truly meaningful. It’s called “From Routine to Reverence: 3 Simple Steps to a Deeper Daily Quiet Time.” I can’t wait to hear how it helps you deepen your time in God’s Word.