Her Faith Thrives

Have you ever tried to reconcile the events of your life with what you expected, and come up short? You are working hard and doing your best to live well but you keep running into dead ends. You lean on all the things you think you know for sure but even those things seem shaky. These moments, situations or even seasons can leave you feeling very uncertain about life and worse still about God. 

Sarah*, the wife of Abraham, did not know how to make sense of her world when she and Abraham received a life changing promise.  They were going to have a son!  Sarah was barren and past the age of conceiving a child. When God promised to give Abraham and Sarah a son, He began to address this painful reality, but the promise was not fulfilled immediately. In fact, after waiting for many years, they began to wonder if they understood the promise God had given them. Doubt started to creep into Sarah’s mind. Perhaps God intended to give them a son she did not conceive.

In that day and culture, it was customary for a woman to give one of her female servants to her husband so that the servant could conceive a child on her behalf.  Sarah was familiar with this practice and used her servant Haggar for this purpose.  The plan seemed to work beautifully when Haggar conceived and gave birth to a son named Ishmael.  However, there was tension in the home.  Haggar was contemptuous of her mistress and Sarah grew bitter toward Haggar. Some time after Ishmael was 13 years old, God reminded Abraham and then Sarah of His promise to give them a biological son. They were both shocked by this news. Abraham asked if God would just bless the son he already had through Haggar and Sarah laughed in disbelief. However, about a year after the promise was confirmed, Sarah conceived and gave birth to a son named Isaac.

When I reflected on Sarah’s story, I wondered what lie she believed that led to her wavering faith in God’s promise.  There were certainly some concrete barriers to her conception of a son – she was barren and beyond her childbearing years.  These were inescapable facts.  So, the fact that she had a hard time taking God’s promise that she would bear a son at face value is not unusual.  The problem was that she did not factor in her God.  Her situation was insurmountable with human capabilities, but God’s power was bigger than her situation. God did not tell her to do everything in her power to have a son. Instead, He said He would give them a son. It is a sobering account. How often do I fail to recognize the truth that is staring right at me and spend time entangled in the results of lies I have believed in and acted on?

One of the questions I got asked most often in my singleness was “why are you single?”  If you have been on the receiving end of this sometimes concerned, kind or demanding inquiry you can attest to the complete sense of frustration that often comes with it.  What was I supposed to say? If you hesitate a moment too long before you answer the question, most often the question asker will answer it for you: “You must be picky.” “You are too busy.” “You are too good for anyone around here.”  On and on it goes, while you are still figuring out how to respond knowing none of these suggested reasons fully accounts for your season. There are picky, busy, good people in your life who are not single. After navigating many of these kinds of moments though, I would often wonder what the real answer to the question about my singleness was. I had my own set of beliefs on why I was single, the most pervasive one being that was I was different.

I had chosen to live in a culture and country that was not my own in the years where people met and formed relationships that could lead to marriage.  I had a wonderful experience forming lifelong friendships and learning to live fully in America. Even though in many ways I felt loved and understood, there was always still something foreign about me in my surroundings. I seriously considered the fact that this foreignness made it hard for anyone to really want to have more than have a casual romantic relationship with me.  Occasionally there were confirmations through unintentional, thoughtless comments, and this seemed to fuel my belief that I was single primarily because of where I lived.

Over the years, I continued to wrestle with this aspect of my singleness and God graciously addressed my beliefs.  It was true that my foreignness led to barriers in some relationships but there was a bigger truth that I had overlooked and in so doing I had believed a lie. Regardless of where I lived or what other factors were at play in my singleness, God was still sovereign and was not limited by the things that limited me.  The reality was I was single because that was what God wanted for me in that season.  The moment that God no longer wanted singleness for me, I would no longer be single. It was as simple and as complicated as that.  Yes, I was still foreign and felt foreign often. Yes, there were still long stretches of time where there were no prospects. Yes, there were times when I was so busy, I was lucky to just get my basic needs taken care of. Yes, I was not just going to settle for anyone. Nonetheless, I was single because it was God’s best plan for me at that time. I had to replace the lie that my circumstances were bigger than my God with the truth of God’s sovereignty. When I saw God’s sovereignty above my limitations, it brought a lot of freedom. I could live fully in my season and maximize its joys without fearing I would somehow miss out on a life partner.

So how do we actively identify the lies we believe in and replace them with lifegiving truth?

1. Ask God to reveal truth:  We need to get into the habit of praying about our beliefs and experiences in various areas of our lives. In my season of singleness, I trained myself to pray about what I was thinking and feeling however valid or ridiculous it was.  In those moments I would be able to articulate and examine what I believed about the situation and about God.  Then I asked God to reveal truth to me about the situation and reveal anything I have believed about Him that was not true.  The result was not always immediate, but I can say with confidence He answered those prayers in time.
2. Pray the truth: When God does reveal what is true, pray this truth back to God. I will admit this sounds strange.  When conversing with another person it is rare that you will repeat the good advice, they just gave you, back to them over and over.  However, this is one way that prayer is unique. We do communicate with God through prayer, but prayer also makes our spirits more attentive to the work God is doing in our lives. As we pray truth back to God, His truth transforms our hearts, and we see God working in our lives.
3. Act on the truth instead of your feelings: Unfortunately, lies have a way of entangling our feelings such that even when we recognize we believed a lie; it is not very easy to just change our minds and move in a different direction. There can be a substantial period of time where the lie feels more like the right thing to do than the truth does. In those times acting in accordance with the truth as we trust God to help us emotionally engage with the truth is very important.  When properly submitted to God’s control, emotions can enhance our experience of the truth we know and are living out. However, if our emotions are lagging behind, this should not delay our obedience to what we know is right.

Perhaps you made it to the end of this article and this topic really hit home for you. The reality is replacing lies with truth is rarely something we have to do just once or in just one season of our lives. We are constantly working to identify lies and replace them with truth in every season of our lives.  This is hard work, but it is certainly worthwhile. So, take some time and ponder the reflection questions. Be encouraged to do the hard work in your season alongside me. Let us all partake of the truth that has the power to set us free and then walk in that freedom.

“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32 CSB

Reflection Questions

1.     Growth: Is there an area of your life where you have believed the world’s or your own personal narrative over God’s?

2.     Connection: Tell a godly friend what lie you have replaced with truth and ask them to pray for you to walk in that truth.

3.     Gratitude: One of the most effective ways for you to assimilate truth is to pray about it often.  Write down the truth that you are choosing to believe. Thank God that this is true and then ask Him to help you walk in it.

*Sarah’s story can be found in Genesis 15-18:15

For Further Encouragement

Were you encouraged by this blog post? I would love to connect with you on our special Her Faith Thrives Newsletter which goes out every other month. In each newsletter, I share a short reflection about how I’m growing in my faith during this season of life. Plus, I’ll be sending you some fantastic resources to inspire and guide you on your own faith journey. When you subscribe, you will receive my all-time favorite tool for making your Daily Quiet Time truly meaningful. It’s called “From Routine to Reverence: 3 Simple Steps to a Deeper Daily Quiet Time.” I can’t wait to hear how it helps you deepen your time in God’s Word.