Her Faith Thrives

When we found out we were expecting a baby toward the end of last year we were both thankful and wary.  Having miscarried a baby just a month prior to this wonderful news, the wounds of grief were still pretty fresh. Even though we experienced God’s comfort in indescribable ways, the loss of our second baby had taught us a hands-open surrendered posture that would characterize us for the rest of this new pregnancy. 

I was pretty sick for the first 16 weeks so our focus was getting through the days and making sure our toddler was getting the care she needed.  We did routine prenatal visits through a hospital practice but we did not dwell on how and where we would deliver this baby. Our prayers in those days were simple, “Lord, thank you for every day we get to steward the life of this baby. Please let us meet him and raise him.” 

In the middle of the second trimester we started thinking about our birthing options. I had my first baby via an unplanned C section despite our best efforts at preparation for an unmedicated vaginal birth. We were so taken aback at how a normal and seemingly healthy pregnancy could lead to such an intervention heavy birth. My recovery from the C section was challenging. After experiencing some medical issues a few days after the birth, and the long term recovery from a C section, we were eager to try and have any future babies vaginally if possible. The technical term for this is having a Vaginal Birth After Cesarean  (VBAC).  

Choosing a Home Birth 

Pursuing a VBAC helped us  grow in our faith. We had prepared for an unmedicated vaginal birth before and seen it end in a C section so we did not have any illusions that this would somehow fall in our lap or be the automatic result of good preparation.  This understanding made us more prayerful.  We read books, took courses, listened to stories, joined groups, reviewed the research; all the while committing this preparation to God. We held the tension of  trusting God to give us the desires of our hearts and continuing to trust Him even if He chose to say no to our prayers. 

We talked to our healthcare providers about our desire for a VBAC and eventually realized they would not be as supportive as they initially appeared to be so we transferred to a different hospital practice. The new practice was far more supportive but as we talked through the possibilities of a VBAC, we realized that the hospital’s policies would potentially keep us from having the best chance at a VBAC. The bottom line was, if I went into spontaneous labor by 41 weeks into the pregnancy, my chances of having a VBAC were high. If not, they would want to intervene.  From my research I knew the proposed interventions would decrease the chances of a successful VBAC.  I was unwilling to have my chances rest on such precarious terms. I was not sure I would go into spontaneous labor before 41 weeks and my first labor had been 18 hours long with the first real interventions around the 12 hour mark to augment my labor. It was the beginning of my 3rd trimester when I realized that I needed a different option and started considering a home birth. 

If you are planning a home birth, the general advice is to reach out to home birth midwives as soon as you know you are pregnant because they book up that quickly. As we reached out to a home birth practice that we thought would suit us well in the third trimester, we knew we needed a miracle and we got it! The practice we talked to had an opening for us. 

Choosing to have the baby at home was just right for us.  We knew there was no guarantee that we would not have a repeat C section but we wanted to know we had done everything we could to avoid an unnecessary one. The home birth midwives were eager to let things progress with as little intervention as possible. I had struggled immensely with fear of birth but planning it in our home and knowing that everyone present would be someone I knew was so helpful. Additionally, the weeks spent gathering supplies and planning the atmosphere of the birth space gave me a very tangible opportunity to process what was coming and tap into the joy of preparing room for the miracle of birth and new life.  Birth transformed from all the medical issues that we were trying to manage or the interventions we were trying to avoid to an appreciation for the beauty of God’s design for the woman’s body and the miracle of life.

Picture Credit: Liberty Doula Services

Labor 

About two weeks before the baby was born, I experienced prodromal labor.  I had contractions that were more intense and closer together than my regular Braxton Hicks and then they would fizzle out in 1-4 hours.  Even though it was challenging, prodromal labor turned out to be a gift. I had multiple opportunities to test run some of my comfort measures and work through fears about the birth that I did not realize I still had. 

Since I had been contracting on and off for two weeks, when labor began at 4 pm on a Wednesday evening I didn’t think much of it. I ran an errand and then tried to take a nap but I was too uncomfortable so I got up and spent some time with my family, ate dinner, and wound down for the evening. When the contractions were still present after 3 or so hours, I texted my doula and let her know what was going on. She gave me some good advice on how to move through the contractions and advised me to call the midwives to let them know that I was likely in labor.  I did not want to call because I kept thinking the contractions would fizzle out like they had in the past. Nonetheless I let them know and around 10pm my husband, Tony,  and I started preparing the birth space. 

Preparing the birth space was one of my favorite activities. After all the planning we were finally putting it all together. My daughter was asleep  and it was such a sweet time to share with my husband. The final moments before our family grew.  After we  set everything up, we went to bed but the contractions were intense enough that I did not sleep.  A couple of hours later I could not lay in bed so I got up and spent  some time in the birth space (our living room)  just moving through the contractions and listening to my playlist for a while.  I also had the chance to read and pray through a passage in 1 Peter which was so special because I had really desired to be fully aware of God’s presence throughout labor. 

Around 3:30 am my water broke.  I woke my husband up and called the doula and midwives.  The birth team was about an hour away.  My doula, Stephanie, was the first to arrive.  The house was peaceful.  I had to concentrate on contractions while they were happening but in between contractions Tony, Stephanie, and I would talk about this and that.  Stephanie did a wonderful job coaching us through the contractions. She had so many good suggestions and was instrumental in keeping me hydrated. 

Labor picked up quite a bit in the next two hours and at some point Stephanie suggested laboring in the shower. I started standing and ended up laying on the floor of the bathtub thankful for the warmth of the water and Tony’s presence and encouraging words.  Some time after that the midwives (Meghan and Darlene) arrived and things became more lively.  I got out of the shower, changed into dry clothes and  moved back into the living room. I remember feeling so thankful to have everyone there.

Tony and the birth team worked on setting up the birthing  tub in our living room while they all cycled through encouraging me during contractions. Since I had spent a considerable amount of time in the shower, I had used up all the hot water in the system.  They all worked to heat water using the kettle and all the burners on the stove to get the water in the tub to the right temperature.  Lively as it was, there was still so much peace.

Soon it was time to get in. Tony stayed outside the tub close to my head and almost as soon as I entered the tub  I was ready to push. I was surprised we had gotten to the pushing stage so uneventfully. I did not want to have any internal checks so the midwives did not do any and it saved me the anxiety of tracking the number of centimeters dilated. I had expected the transition stage of labor to feel impossible but even though it was challenging it had come and gone and now it was time to push. 

Picture Credit: Liberty Doula Services

Giving birth

At this point I was pretty tired. The pushing lasted 1.5 hours but it felt like 6 hours! I kept asking if the baby was really moving because it felt like it took so long.  The pushing felt more like an intense force than it did like pain. It took every ounce of energy to work with the contractions and in between I would close my eyes and catch short naps.  When I did not nap, the words of the music on my playlist would catch my attention. Tony and I found ourselves singing along in between contractions which was an unexpected joy. 

Even though my water had broken, the majority of the bag was sitting in front of the baby’s head and I needed to push it out. As soon as I did, the pace picked up. On the next push the baby was crowning, the second push his head was born, and the third push the rest of him passed from me into the water.  The midwives caught him and handed him to me right away with his umbilical cord still attached.  He was here, our little rainbow baby, and he looked just like his sister. Born at 41 weeks 6 days, he was bigger than his sister, weighing 8lbs 6 oz. It seemed like he had taken some of the extra time in the womb to grow a head full of hair. He looked so healthy and let out a cry that told us he had a good set of lungs on him.  We were thankful. 

Picture Credit: Liberty Doula Services

After the birth 

There are moments in every big  life event that stand out and one that will always bring a smile to my face was what we now describe as Tony’s moment to shine.  In truth, Tony surpassed all expectations throughout the entire birthing experience, but this moment stood out.  Shortly after our baby boy was born, it was time to get out of the water.  The walls of the birthing tub were high and every suggestion on how I would actually get out sounded impossible to me as I sat holding my baby who was still attached to me.  Finally, Tony suggested he could just lift us both out of the water. Despite  the fact that I do not usually like being picked up off my feet, I was very relieved to hear this option and did not even question his ability to do it. With the cheers of the entire birth team, he lifted the baby and I out of the birthing tub and placed us on the nearby couch for the birth of the placenta. 

 During the time on the couch the cord stopped pulsing indicating it was time to cut the cord. We took a moment to thank God for the new life he had added to our family and then Tony cut the cord.  Shortly after that, I pushed the placenta out.  We had the chance to examine it and were amazed to see how God had sustained our baby’s life through this organ.

The next 3 hours passed slowly. We spent time together, I nursed the baby, I was checked for any tearing or excessive bleeding – both of which I did not have, which was an answer to prayer.  The baby was also checked and all the newborn measures we had consented to were performed. 

Picture Credit: Liberty Doula Services

Meeting the Family 

My parents were in town as was my mother in law.  Since the birth space was set up in the living room and really took over the main areas of the house, we had planned for everyone to be elsewhere during the birth. Our baby was born in the morning and they all came back to the house around lunch time for a sweet time of seeing our latest addition and hearing about God’s faithfulness through the labor and delivery.

Picture Credit: Liberty Doula Services

Final Thoughts 

There was a lot to be thankful for with this birth. We had desired a peaceful and joy filled experience and the Lord gave us more than we could have hoped or imagined. We had hoped that Christ would be magnified as this baby was born and comments from members of our team  told us He answered this prayer too. We had prayed that I would not be fearful and I cannot remember feeling fearful during the labor. We had prayed for a smooth experience with no medical complications for me or the baby and God delighted to give us just that.  

There is a way that faith grows when God says no to the good things that you deeply desire. We had prayed similar prayers when we had our daughter and many were answered with no’s. We had prayed we would meet the baby we carried when we got pregnant the second time but God let us steward his life in the womb but not outside of it.  We were very familiar with faith that grows when the answer is no; but through this home birth we also got to experience faith that grows when the answer is yes.  May it always be true of us that no matter what God decides, whether or not we get the desires of our heart, we will be faithful to magnify Him.  He is sovereign and good and today we are so thrilled to express that through the blessings of prayers answered with yeses.

Picture Credit: Liberty Doula Services

For Further Encouragement

Were you encouraged by this blog post? I would love to connect with you on the Her Faith Thrives Newsletter! This newsletter goes out every other month and contains a short personal update, and varying combinations of encouraging reflections like this one, content sneak peeks, and a handful of links to other encouraging resources!