Her Faith Thrives

Guest Post by Elena Wiggins

Motherhood shouldn’t be done alone. My eighteen-month-old son is bright, silly, playful, and has a cheerful personality. He is a snuggler, he actually enjoys putting toys away, helping me clean, and (to the joy of his Mama’s bibliophile heart) loves it when his father and I read to him. He is a sweet blessing for which I praise God. We’ve had many joyful days and fun adventures together. And yet, he has also been a challenge in many ways.

The sleep deprivation of the early months of motherhood mixed with being needed nearly one hundred percent of the time by a helpless (and loud) little human is trying, especially as an introvert who needs daily doses of quiet and solitude to be able to function well. Through a trustworthy, encouraging Christian community, I have been able to walk through extremely hard days (see previous article) as well as joyful days of motherhood.

These four practical principles helped me experience God’s love directly and through the community he placed me in. They are things I am still trying to remember. I hope they will help you too!

1. Do not isolate yourself. 

You are not meant to mother alone. Christian community helps carry the load when motherhood is tough. This includes young moms who are in the same stage as you, who can understand what you’re going through and share helpful tips when they are desired. According to Titus 2, it can also include seasoned moms whose children are all grown up and can come alongside to mentor you. Moreover, single friends or those who are married without children are definitely not excluded from providing tangible help and encouraging words to new moms! 

As a new mom, my community included both young and seasoned moms, old roommates with whom I kept in touch weekly through the Marco Polo video messages app, a Christian counselor at church who has helped me work through different heart issues in the past years, and our supportive families on both sides. These Christian women reminded me that God made no mistake in choosing me to be my sweet boy’s mama. They helped me remember my identity as God’s child.

2. Ask for and accept help. 

Learning to respond with “Yes, I’d love some help!” has been humbling as well as freeing. From asking my mother-in-law to drive from out-of-town to help for the week so I can get some much-needed sleep and a date with my husband, to asking a friend to babysit my son so I could meet with a Christian counselor at church. People do not always know that you need help until you ask, and they won’t know how to help unless you let them know specific requests. 

3. Don’t compare your load to other mom’s loads. 

Social media isn’t realistic. Even the picture-perfect moms of Instagram have their own challenges. We are not called to perfection from the standard of social media. Instead, as Christian moms, we are called to humility, obedience, repentance, reliance on God, and fellowship with others.

Comparison steals the joy that motherhood offers. It also puts up walls between moms competing against one another, preventing the dynamic opportunity of learning from and helping one another. 

4. Lean on God and draw near to Him for strength.

This is important especially when you feel your weakest. It is tempting to forego Bible study, devotions, prayer, and praise when your time is already so limited; and you are incredibly tired. 

There is nothing wrong with using free time for personal enjoyment, taking a nap, or self-care (physical activity, taking walks, attending counseling sessions, etc.). But try not to make a habit of neglecting time with God. 

I have personally experienced the benefit of hearing God’s truth. The sustaining hope I receive, lingers throughout the day. Even when I only have a few minutes to read the Bible, meditate on a verse, or read a few paragraphs of a Christian book, God is always faithful to encourage me. This will likely look different during the early months and years of motherhood compared to when you did not have a child, but do not let that discount the opportunity to pursue growth in your knowledge of God. 

Choose to listen to His word through faith-building podcasts, memorize a few verses to recite and think about when you are stressed, and praise Him through song, art, or other ways. 

The Psalms are full of verses about God’s character. Psalm 30 and 107 are particularly dear to me, especially when I am in the middle of difficult seasons. The visual imagery of being in the depths of despair in Psalm 30 as well as the trifecta of a storm-tossed ship, the chain-bound loneliness of a prison cell, and the parched thirst of walking through an endless desert (Psalm 107) all felt very real for me during the hardest days of motherhood. 

Amidst his troubles, the psalmist still boldly proclaims and rejoices in God’s character. His enduring love and goodness. His thirst-satisfying presence, saving us from our distress. God breaking the metaphorical chains that held us in bondage and rescuing us from the deepest pits and crashing waves. This God is for you and with you, whatever season you are in. One of the many ways God shows His love is by providing community for His children from their spiritual siblings.

Reflection Questions: 

• Growth: In what ways is it difficult for you to ask for help? What do you think is getting in the way of asking trusted friends, specifically Christian community, for help? 
• Connection: If you are in a solid season of joy and encouragement, to whom can you send a letter, small gift, or offer practical help? 
• Gratitude: Which attributes of God have you seen most clearly in your difficult seasons? Praise God for those attributes. 

Elena Wiggins was born in Romania, grew up in the Pacific Northwest, then moved to Texas when she married her husband in 2017. She was a pediatric nurse practitioner until she gave birth to her son and is now a SAHM. A few of her favorite things include: quiet mornings studying the Word with classical music in the background and a delicious flora tea to sip while her heart is refreshed, flowers arranged in little vases around the house to brighten the rooms, taking walks around the neighborhood park with her husband and son, traveling (back when that was a thing), and reading a multitude of books, which she reviews on her blog, Beautiful Hope

For Further Encouragement

Were you encouraged by this blog post? I would love to connect with you on our special Her Faith Thrives Newsletter which goes out every other month. In each newsletter, I share a short reflection about how I’m growing in my faith during this season of life. Plus, I’ll be sending you some fantastic resources to inspire and guide you on your own faith journey. When you subscribe, you will receive my all-time favorite tool for making your Daily Quiet Time truly meaningful. It’s called “From Routine to Reverence: 3 Simple Steps to a Deeper Daily Quiet Time.” I can’t wait to hear how it helps you deepen your time in God’s Word.